Off To a Flying Start

Yes, yes, the Grand Prix Final starts tomorrow and I still haven't watched Cup of China or Trophée Eric Bompard. In a jarring reminder that the schedule is hot on my tail, here is a moment that gave my dear Japan a collective and simultaneous heart attack.

Rostelecom Cup 2010: Exciting Pairs?!

Happy December! I will open this month with the second installment of my Grand Prix retrospection: the Rostelecom Cup, or, as it should always be known, Cup of Russia. I'm glad that there are companies out there still stupid or naive or kind enough to sponsor figure skating events, but "Rostelecom Cup" is just such a terrible name. The organizers know it, too, seeing as they still embedded "Cup of Russia" in the middle of the rink.

Partly redeeming this name is, surprisingly, the pairs event. Lately pairs has been my least favorite discipline, but this time it was the one that contained the pleasant surprises. Before I can get there, however, I feel obligated to sit through the shuffling mess that was the ladies.

I've tried to like Miki Ando. I really have. Yet for all my countless hours of watching this sport, I cannot understand why the majority of my country finds her so cute. I don't understand why her jumps are such a big deal when she is in tears trying to come up with excuses half the time, and her lack of artistry is a perpetual annoyance. And I'm just going to pretend I don't know who Nikolai Morozov is, even though that's impossible.

I actually kind of like the music Miki uses in her short program; it has a catchy tempo, beat, and power, and helps mask her lack of lyricality. Her performance was fairly uninspired, though, and that patch on her back was beyond distracting. Even at full speed her triple flip looked underrotated to my very informally trained eye (although there is no reason to give her a -3 GOE, random judge).

It's rare that I can find a figure skating performance aired in a language I understand, haha. I like keeping things in this blog uniform, but not so much so that I'll pass up a Japanese broadcast. Anyway, Miki's patch seemed to have grown overnight, and by Nationals I'm sure it will be large enough to explain any defeat she may suffer. On a positive note, it seems that Miki's fashion sense has exponentially improved this season, though perhaps at Mao's expense.

The music she uses in this program is completely different from her short program's, and it looks like she's really trying to improve her artistry. She doesn't quite succeed--she completely ignores the most dramatic part of the music because she's too busy backloading her program with jumps--but at least she's trying, I guess? And her jumps are nothing to laugh at--the solo triple Lutz was huge.

Ah, Akiko Suzuki. Another skater I have tried and failed to like. What am I supposed to do, now that Yukari Nakano has retired and the real Mao Asada is nowhere to be found? Akiko's one-armed Biellmann was seriously ugly and made me miss Mao even more. Akiko does get credit, though, for pushing through hard times and squeezing the best out of her talent and opportunities.

How refreshing it is to see a coach and his skater keep a healthy distance between them in the Kiss & Cry. I also didn't realize that Hiroshi Nagakubo was so old.

Hrm, so I guess Russian short program video-Japanese free skate video is the theme for this post. The first thing I noticed about Akiko's costume here is that it helps her look more cute than usual, although Fiddler on the Roof is anything but cute and I am not a fan of the single-shoulder look that seems to be going on these days.

This is a great program for her--it accentuates how delicate and quietly expressive Akiko can be. The contrasting energetic highs help bring out her inner energy and smile, and she manages to keep up her speed to match until the end. Her jump positions could be better, but she seems to be constantly improving and watching her sort of makes me warm and happy.

The parade of skaters of whom I am not a fan continues. Ashley Wagner seems to have tried to go the chic and mature route in her short program, although her artistry--or her skating in general--has not evolved to match. Maybe all the too-dark foundation on her face was weighing her down, but her first two jumping passes were not quite perfect and she doesn't seem to have a presence on the ice. Simply put, I enjoyed the music, but not her performance.

Oh dear, what a bad, bad idea. This music immediately conjures images of Sasha Cohen's short program from many seasons ago, and even with Sasha's mistakes it is just not possible for Ashley to measure up. She even seems to steal some of the choreography wholesale, which is an even worse idea. To top it all off, she even includes a fall. Amazing.

Now, I haven't had the chance to like or dislike Agnes Zawadzki yet, but the signs seem to point to dislike. Her jumps are rather nice, but she is a product of the Colorado training center and looks like Amber Corwin. She is far more interesting than her training mate Rachael Flatt, but there was nothing particularly memorable about this program.

Her free skate, though, was why I bothered to watch her at all this competition--who can ignore such a spectacular meltdown? Agnes looked more mature in this program than in her short, but this also had three more falls and various other messes. How she manages to smile at the end is beyond my understanding, but good for her, I suppose.

And now that that's done, I can now move on to the whole point of this post.

No matter how many times I read the name to myself, I can't get used to "Kavaguti." Seriously, woman, have you no standards? I remember several years ago when Terry Gannon mentioned that Yuko Kawaguchi, as she was then thankfully known, did not want to give up her Japanese citizenship just to go to the Olympics representing Russia. Well, it seems like she threw that all out the window and then some. She'd better hope there's a Russian man waiting to marry her, because no Japanese man with an ounce of sense is going to.

I can't make much sense out of Yuko Kavaguti & Alexander Smirnov's short program music choice. It's what is played at like, opening ceremonies and at particularly dramatic moments in Japanese variety shows. It doesn't make for great figure skating performances. Neither do Alexander's pants, for that matter. Yuko fought for each and every landing, and somehow the pair managed to come out on top. The memory of their coach's death glare is probably still very fresh.

From one overplayed piece to another. Alexander's wedding ring stands out more than any other skater's I've ever seen, except maybe Mark Ladwig's. The unison on their side-by-side spins was basically perfect, and as usual they had impressive pair elements that Yuko fought to control. Of course, my favorite part--just like everybody else--is where Alexander goes in to bite Yuko's neck, and she lies in his ars with a glassy, frozen expression. This is seriously not an attractive pair.

I'd seen Narumi Takahashi & Mervin Tran's names at various junior international competitions over the past few seasons, but this was the first time I ever watched them skate. Okay, so this pair is only half Japanese, so there's still a lot of ground to break when it comes to pairs skating in Japan, but it's a huge step forward.

Did the Russian commentator seriously say "Bublah" for "Bublé"? That would really make my day.

Anyway, Narumi & Mervin's split triple twist was huge, and their side-by-side-spins, though not perfectly in unison, were super fast. They're not quite expressive and still somewhat juniorish, but their elements are solid. Potential! Potential! Unbelievable. Now if only Japanese ice dancers existed...

Narumi better not be the next Keauna McLaughlin. Just saying.

This program didn't do much to grab my attention, either, but again, it's very refreshing and reassuring to see that a Japanese pairs team may one day emerge internationally after all.

God, I love this pair. Amanda Evora & Mark Ladwig are actually energetic and mature with each other, and the transformation of their costumes following last season's successes is dramatic. It's obvious that (for the first time ever?) they were custom-made, and it really helps them look like they belong. They even saved the best for last, placing a teaser bit of one of their signature lifts near the end of their program.

Their free skate costumes had a bit of last-season feel to it, but no matter. Amanda & Mark are skating with a new confidence this season, minus Amanda's obligatory fall, and it's wonderful. Nessun Dorma needs to be retired, and Amanda & Mark need to channel their new confidence into finding their own music. They did, however, make a real effort into doing the overplayed piece justice with their spot-on double Axel sequence and huge lifts. Mark's reaction during their bows and in the Kiss & Cry is priceless. It's great that even Jim Peterson can get into the camera mugging. Their hugs at the end are adorable. Love, love. This kind of closeness is okay. Nikolai, take note.

Skate Canada 2010: From One Mess To Another

We all knew Trophée Eric Bompard wold more or less end up the way it did, right? Now that the Grand Prix events are finally and mercifully over, and all that's left is the Final in 10 days, I thought I would take the opportunity to look back on the competitions that I initially ignored out of concern for myself. First up: Skate Canada.

I will happily cover both the best and the worst, but in this case only the men's event is worth mentioning. Any event that Alissa Czisny can win (and that Fumie Suguri insists on entering) is possibly beyond 'worst' status, and both the pairs and ice dance events look too boring to even think about.

Of course I have to start with Patrick Chan. Two obvious things I did not realize about him: 1) He is still only 19 and 2) He is a two-time World silver medalist. One not-so-obvious thing I had to look up about him: 1) He is fully Chinese.

This program is remarkable for its ability to earn unearned points. How a skater can miss two of three required jumping passes and still score high enough for third place (even at a Grand Prix event) is beyond me. Even these commentators, who talk way too much, are initially at a loss for words after the missed triple Axel. I'll admit that he has good speed in his stroking and in his spins, but the magical Canadian bonus is just too much.

So actually, his placement is not beyond me. It's very easy: just keep on adding PCS points until the desired score and rank are reached. Of course the commentator says, "Three falls, and I'm not worried." Why should he be?

But my biggest problem? I'm so jaded that I can't even get angry about this.

Disguising an overused piece of music by changing the instruments and the tempo isn't fooling anyone except maybe the Canadians. The unbearably biased commentators proudly crowed that Patrick "answered another question" by landing a quad toe loop, which was admittedly very good, but moments later had to face the fact that their chosen boy was down on the ice yet again after a failed triple Axel. The ability of the commentators to continue to finding positive--and occasionally flatly wrong--things to say might be even more remarkable than the score this mess of a performance receives. Only one clean jumping pass in the entire program, and he skates away with a smile and a gold medal. "Still some rough edges"? That's putting it mildly, buddy.

Patrick Chan rivals Yuna Kim when it comes to blind adoration.

I am no fan of Nobunari Oda, seriously, but his knees are like butter. He doesn't have the excitement that Patrick Chan has, especially in Canada, but his jumps are to die for. Nobunari's costumes and music occasionally make me want to die, but that's another story.

The Russian commentators are so mercifully quiet...

I actually kind of like this costume, I think. I also like this music much better than his short program choice, but I'm afraid it's not exciting enough to help him disguise his sheer lack of artistry and musicality. He also has a strange free leg position on the entrance to his triple Axels, which I noticed just moments before he fell on one. There's not much else to say except that Nobunari deserved more, but it's just the way skating goes. At least now everybody knows that one fall is far more costly than four falls and five stepouts. The complete lack of emotion on his face as a mask for his utter confusion, disappointment, and annoyance is amazing.

By the way, if you watch the Gala, Nobunari is introduced as "He's a new dad, and the rising son of Japan!" Wow, no.

Do I approve of Adam Rippon's laughably fake attempts to portray Romeo? No, of course not. But his skating is so gorgeous I could almost overlook that. Once he got through the triple Axel I knew the rest would be smooth sailing, and it was.

His double-armed Lutz in the short program was a little less than pretty, but Adam's first Lutz in his free skate was pure beauty. I draw the line at that ugly one-armed three-jump combination, though. Just no. His knees aren't quite as soft as Nobunari's, but his increasingly evident gayness allows him to feel the music so much more. I'm not even going to bother comparing their placements, since it's obvious that their respective strengths are different, and in the end the only determinant in their markings was how to enable Patrick to win.

All in all, this was a fairly forgettable competition, minus the eye-roll outrage that was Patrick Chan. I guess I'm glad I watched it, a month late.

Skate America 2010: Long Overdue...

I've been meaning to write this post for over a week, and now Cup of Russia has come and gone and Trophée Eric Bompard is knocking, so there's not much I can do now other than to sit down among the various food preparations going on and relive the hot mess that the Ladies Free Skate was.

The commentators opened Viktoria Helgesson's performance by talking about how her sister Joshi was "one of the big surprises" in the Short Program the day before. That sure must be encouraging, though I guess there's not much you can say when someone is currently in last place. After taking an age and a half to take her opening pose, Viktoria--whose clockwise jumping is kind of distracting--landed a mediocre triple Lutz. She then did a triple flip + double toe combination, which Tonia Kwiatkowski called "strong" but also seriously lacked any flow out, and a nice combination spin. Viktoria's triple loop was her best jump of the program, but her circular step sequence was slow and uninspiring. Her spiral sequence very lacking in extension, but she pulled off a nice triple toe loop at the end of it. Viktoria put a hand down on the triple loop of her triple loop + double toe combination, forcing her to do a single toe loop for the second jump instead, but then her program seemed to miraculously gain energy.

Viktoria's second combination spin was much faster than the first, and her triple Salchow was nicely landed. She then went into a double Axel + double Axel sequence, and although the landing of the second double Axel was off the music helped carry things along in the final seconds. Her last spin had the speed and energy level of her first, but all in all this was a huge improvement from any last-place program. (However, not such an improvement that I can accept that this was a third-place free skate. The Grand Prix is a disaster.)

Side note: Tonia Kwiatkowski mentions that Viktoria forced the single toe loop at the end of her triple loop because she had already done a solo triple loop earlier in the program. So this mediocre skater can manage that thought process, but Nobunari Oda cannot? Come on.

Like mother, like daughter.

I decided to skip things until Amelie Lacoste, whom I've never heard of until this competition. She began with a nice double Axel + double Axel sequence, with good speed and flow. She kept this speed up through a triple loop + double loop combination, but then badly popped a triple Lutz. Undeterred, Amelie did a nice combination spin right after, then successfully fought for the landing of a triple flip. Spins seem to be her strength--she did another pretty combination spin--but choreography and original music choice are not. Sheherazade? I don't think so.

Amelie then did a decent enough triple loop + double loop combination, but her spiral "sequence" was a simple arabesque without any variations in position. This is probably what Dick Button wants to see, but her flexibility is limited and there were no extra points to be gained. This was followed by a fall on a triple toe loop, an unremarkable step sequence, a triple loop popped into a double, and a final combination spin. Amelie lost a lot of speed and energy near the end of the program, which made my overall impression sort of dull.

After two unimpressive performance I was a little excited to see Caroline Zhang--not because I expected anything spectacular, but because you never know what excitement will happen. She seems to have gained not an insignificant amount of weight, which I feel bad saying but is unavoidable. Promisingly, though, Caroline started with a good triple flip + double toe combination without the famous mule kick. Yet in the next instant, this all fell to pieces as she landed a triple Lutz popped into an underrotated, wrong-edged double in a split. Yes, this is exactly the kind of excitement I was waiting for.


At first I'd thought that Caroline had gained some speed compared to last season, but that seems to have been a 30-second illusion. To her credit, she muscled out a double Axel right after her spectacular Lutz, but as usual she essentially came to a dead stop before it. Her two combination spins were uninspiring and a little bit slow, but then she at least landed a triple loop. Caroline's first smile briefly appeared during her spiral sequence, during which she showed off some of what used to be her trademark flexibility, but she then singled an attempted triple flip. After this was a stepped-out triple loop, a very slow step sequence, and a second dead-stop double Axel. Her final combination spin was the highlight of her performance, as she had some pretty layback positions and good speed (until her final Biellmann). Topped with a shrug in the Kiss & Cry, it was a typical Caroline Zhang performance. It's hard to say why she was so smiley.




Next came a different type of disaster: Rachael Flatt. Remarkably, she looks no thinner than Caroline Zhang. Rachael opened with a slightly forward-leaning double Axel + triple toe combination, some arm-waving, and a triple Lutz + double toe combination. An awkward combination spin highlighted the inflexibility in her back, and then came a seriously gross series of moves meant to play to the audience.

I guess this is effort.

After that interlude she went back to her own character and landed a nice triple flip, then went through the motions of a combination spin and an ugly spiral sequence.

Her full extension.

She did make up for some of that with a nice triple Lutz and a triple flip + double toe + double loop combination. Rachael's solo triple loop was also good, but then she started dancing again through her straight-line step sequence. The problem, though, is that she doesn't know how to involve the audience in this dancing--Daisuke Takahashi often does similarly silly moves, but he somehow makes it exciting. Her final jump, a triple Salchow, was also solid, and for some reason the audience got very into her performance at this point. The end result? A standing ovation. Really? Was Skate America that bad? Seriously, I know that I'm not quite objective when it comes to Rachael Flatt, but it's offensive that she's the reigning US National Champion.

Joshi Helgesson, the "surprising" one of the Helgesson sisters, then skated wearing a somewhat outdated dress. She opened with a good triple Lutz, triple loop, and a triple toe + double toe combination. Nothing was spectacular in either sense. Everything seemed just a step slow, which really made her triple Lutz + double toe combination quite difficult to do and watch. Joshi's spins and step sequences were equally flat. A possibly two-footed triple toe loop was followed by a combination spin, an awkward double Axel + double toe combination, and a final double Axel. Her jump repertoire seems to be somewhat limited. Joshi looked quite happy at the end of her performance, but that was before she saw three underrotations and a full downgrade.

Off to the Grand Prix Final!

I was all but ready to simply hand Carolina Kostner the title, given how everything seems to work in this world, but things weren't quite so simple. I'm not sure what's up with her knee, but whatever it is seems to be bad enough that she purposely left out the flip and Lutz from her program. As usual she skated with great speed, and opened with a decent enough triple toe loop and a double Axel, but then singled her second double Axel. Carolina did two combination spins right after each other, followed by a good triple Salchow. After this came a dramatic fall on a triple loop and a second triple loop popped into a double. An ignorable spiral sequence and straight-line step sequence was followed by a forward-leaning triple Salchow with a desperate single toe loop + single loop tacked on to create her only combination of the program. Carolina's final spin had some lovely moments, but her music ended suddenly and on a soft note. I suppose that summarizes her performance.

Maybe I was doing myself a favor by ignoring the Grand Prix...

P.S. Every single Gilles needs to permanently retire, then use the money saved to go on a long family vacation.

2010 Skate America: More or Less Than the Sum of Their Parts

Yes, for the Pairs Free Skate I actually decided to watch all of the competing teams. Here we go.

Stacey Kemp & David King went first with an awkward and almost dangerous program. The best that the commentators could come up with during their short and long programs was that Stacey designs their costumes. That's lovely, but it has nothing to do with their actual skating.


They opened with a split triple twist that ended in a crash and a near-fall from Stacey. David then stepped out of their side-by-side double jumps--seriously, they can't find a way to manage triple toe loops or something? She did manage to land a throw triple toe, but despite some very audible counting by David their side-by-side spins traveled and went a bit off. Their slow music did nothing to help their slow combination spin along, and I believe I heard all of one person clap after they came out of it. Stacey & David's star lift had a nice position but was also slow, and then she followed it up by falling on a throw triple loop and leaving out the second jump of their side-by-side double jump combination. They ended their program with two lifts sandwiching a death spiral, and I guess all I can say is that the last 45 seconds was probably the best of their performance.

I don't really understand how a team unable to do side-by-side triple jumps even decided to compete at the senior level internationally. What is the point? To throw money and time away? Despite having been together for years, their unison is off and there is no chemistry between them. Surely two people in their 20s have better things to do with their lives.

The next team was Marissa Castelli & Simon Shnapir, who were skating to Avatar and really decided to dress the part. The thing about Simon is that he's tall. Like, really tall--the kind of tall I tend to discriminate against. Anyway, this makes for some amazing pairs skills, and they skated with really impressive speed into a huge split triple twist. They followed this with a nice lasso lift, although they both had problems on their following side-by-side triple toes. This didn't seem to bother them much as they launched into a more or less clean side-by-side double toe + double toe combination. Then came their big attempt: a throw triple Axel. Marissa really stumbled out on the landing (to the point where I thought it would be considered a fall), but it was so close to being landed. You could see her rotating straight in the air, but then it fell apart.

The timing on their side-by-spins was also a little off, and their combination spin positions sometimes looked a little forced despite great flexibility from Marissa because she is so tiny compared to Simon. Then came some odd character acting by Simon.

After a nice lift that really showed off his strength, the pair pulled off a huge throw triple Salchow that covered so much distance and had so much height. And take a look at her position on their rotational lift:


Their speed and energy throughout was really impressive, and on and off the ice they looked like so much fun. No wonder--a personal best score can have that effect!

Third to skate was Felicia Zhang & Taylor Toth, whom I've been really interested in since they won Junior Nationals last year in their first season together. Since then, though, they seem to have hit a number of obstacles--obstacles that can be addressed, but only if they decide they really want to.

Felicia and Taylor were individually meant to be pairs skaters. She is bubbly and personable, tiny and fearless. He is kind and thoughtful, strong and protective. For some reason, though, Felicia seems determined to continue skating singles as well, which--and I love her as a person so I feel bad saying this at all, except everybody knows it--is not going anywhere and never really will. And so it is time for them to buckle down and focus on becoming the top pair in the United States, which given the current field is not actually such a huge task.

But since she is still skating singles and their partnership is still pretty young, they crashed on their split triple twist (must all programs always open with a split triple twist?). Their strength at the moment--their singles elements--also deserted them, as Taylor stumbled on the triple toe of their triple toe + double toe sequence, Felicia fell on the double toe, and their synchronization fell apart sometime in between. Their first lift went well, but their side-by-side spins was when it got really scary. They started their flying camels way too close to each other, and Felicia pulled out of it to avoid becoming the next Elena Berezhnaya.

To their credit, Felicia & Taylor brushed this aside and landed a great throw triple Salchow, though something very odd happened in the exit of their next lift. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but it did not go the way it was planned. Felicia then landed a throw triple loop leaning forward, and the pair followed this with a decent lift and off-timed side-by-side double Axels. There really wasn't much reason for their double Axels to not be synchronized, except for whatever reason Taylor hung around just a bit too long.

I loved Felicia's back position in this spin, though.

I love Felicia & Taylor, I really do. But this was a painful performance to watch on so many levels, and I can only hope that it catalyzes some major changes.

Then it was Ksenia Stoblova & Fedor Klimov, with Ksenia dressed like a French maid who ran out of material. The moment the music came on, it was Daisuke Takahashi 2009-2010 all over again, except more poorly performed. Their opening split double (surprise!) twist was fine, overlooking the fact that it was a double, but she fell on their throw triple flip. A great and original element was their triple toe + double toe + double toe three-jump combination, which was done with good synchronization if not with great flow out.

The music picked up just as they hit a nice lift, then wandered in and out of synchronization on their side-by-side spins. Despite a slightly forward-leaning landing, Ksenia & Fedor's throw triple Salchow was huge, and then following another lift they did mirror-image double Axels, which I thought was kind of cool.

Better State Farm than Alka-Seltzer.

Wenjing Sui & Cong Han came next, looking juvenile as ever. Random anonymous Asians have been getting angry that people are questioning Wenjing's age (and there does seem to be an argument to be made, I feel), saying that it's racist and rude to assume that just because Asians look relatively young they actually are. I digress, but these accusations are stupid. I don't actually care all that much about this issue, but when people blindly play the race card I always feel the need to say something. Yes, Asians look young, but several points need to be made:

1. Wenjing is not the first Asian the figure skating world has ever seen. The informal suspicions surrounding her age come from years of having developed notions of what of-age Asian females should look like, whether she be Xue Shen or Mao Asada or Michelle Kwan. Wenjing does not look too young because she looks younger than Caydee Denney, she looks too young because she looks younger than Kanako Murakami.
   
2. I am destined to be carded for a long time to come. However, no one who actually interacts with me would believe that I am sixteen or eighteen or whatever age I may or may not look. I carry myself differently than I did as a teenager. My emotional responses are more complex, more thoughtful. My facial expressions come from a deeper place, and I understand the significance of things and events more profoundly.
   Are figure skaters shielded and stunted? Of course they are. But Wenjing's attitude on the ice, and her way of expressing herself through her body and facial language, indicate an immaturity that seems to come simply from a lack of time spent so far in this world.
   
3. Felicia also does not look seventeen. Yet no one questions her age because the United States does not have a history of fabricating ages.
   

Anyway... Wenjing & Cong, looking juvenile as ever in ill-advised bumblebee costumes despite skating to Charlie Chaplin. Robin Szolkowy looked positively ancient warming up next to them.


Whatever age this pair might be, there's no arguing that their technical content is all there. Unlike the previous pairs, Wenjing & Cong started with a double Axel + double Axel sequence, then did a (two-footed) throw quad Salchow. Their side-by-side triple toes were a little far apart, but then their side-by-side spins were almost dangerously close. The second throw, a triple flip, was huge, as was their (finally!) split triple twist. The lifts and spins left to the end of their program really benefited from Wenjing's flexibility.

They skated with good speed and energy throughout, and really delivered for being so inexperienced. Good for them.

Absurd.

Caydee Denney & Jeremy Barrett, continuing their more mature look this season, came out next in blue costumes with silver rhinestone trim. I would say they were beautiful, but Caydee's hair and makeup (as well as the feathery fringe on the bottom of her skirt--what?) renders this an impossible task. I also wish they didn't shove Rhapsody in Blue into our faces by dressing in blue, but whatever, I guess.

They started with a decent split triple twist followed by side-by-side triple toes, and then pulled off a strong throw triple Lutz. Caydee & Jeremy had good union on both their single Axel + double Axel sequence and their fast side-by-side combination spins, and kept up this speed into a lift and a throw triple loop that ended in a fall. The thing that stood out for me with this pair was their attention to positions at the end of elements--Caydee in particular made a point to extend all the way out to her fingertips when coming out of lifts and spins.

Because Canada needs someone to be overrated at every competition, Kirsten Moore-Towers & Dylan Moscovitch, second after the Short Program, skated next. They're just so unremarkable I don't know what to say. They skated to Les Miserables in what I thought was traditional German costume for Kirsten and toy soldier costume for Dylan.


They had a good split triple twist followed immediately by a double toe + double Axel sequence. Kirsten put one hand slightly down on an almost out-of-control throw triple loop. After a decent lift, Kirsten & Dylan both stepped out of their side-by-side triple Salchows in perfect unison. Some forgettable spins and lifts later, they did a very late throw triple Salchow immediately followed by side-by-side combination spins that started out fast and together but soon lost its synchronization. One last lift later, this utterly average program came to an end.

Well, I'll say one thing for them: they've achieved more closeness and chemistry in a year and a half than Stacey & David have in more than seven years. I really need some top teams to slap them back into their places, though.

Skate America saved the tackiest for last in this competition. It's a good thing Aliona Savchenko has an amazing body and even more amazing self-confidence, because otherwise there wouldn't even be half an excuse for a hot pink body suit in emulation of the Pink Panther. Robin Szolkowy, meanwhile, was dressed like an airline pilot with pajama pants.

You know, people think Japan is weird, but Germany puts up a very good fight.

Fortunately for Aliona & Robin, they can get away with outfits like these because their skating speaks for itself. Their first element, a throw triple flip, was absolutely huge and was rewarded by +3 and +2 GOEs across the board. There's always a judge who needs to disagree and hand out the lone -1, but not in this case. Then came a side-by-side triple toe + triple toe sequence, although Robin just barely managed to not step out of the second jump. Their side-by-side combination spins lost unison by the end, but when they were together, they were amazing.

Aliona & Robin's split triple twist came in the middle of their program, after their spiral sequence, and was followed curiously by side-by-side double Salchows. They left their visually impressive lifts to the end, topped off with a last-second throw triple Salchow, but I'm still not sure what their program was actually about. No matter, though, since they blew away the second-place Canadians by more than 20 points.

Skate America 2010: The Snakes and Damaged Beauty Edition

The Free Dance here was probably my most anticipated segment, but again, only for the second half: Ekaterina Riazanova & Ilia Tkachenko, Maia Shibutani & Alex Shibutani, Kaitlyn Weaver & Andew Poje, Vanessa Crone & Paul Poirier, and of course Meryl Davis & Charlie White. Of the four I'd only seen the Shibutanis' free dance (!), so this was going to potentially be quite an eye-opener.

Ekaterina Riazanova & Ilia Tkachenko were skating to a selection of music hilariously titled "Mexico," and were dressed nearly identically. I'm not sure how I feel about partners being so matchy-matchy, but it works, I suppose, because both they and their costumes are quite pretty.

Unfortunately for them, the sound quality on IceNetwork was such that I couldn't really hear the music and appreciate how the choreography was structured. They had some cool lifts such as this, even though the position was held for only the briefest of moments:


Ekaterina & Ilya's twizzles were together and had fairly good speed, but didn't have the pop that one simply cannot forget after seeing the Shibutanis. Their following combination spin seemed a bit slow in rotation, and the slow, sweeping music in their circular step sequence didn't help much in carrying the performance up and forward. They did bring the energy up in the next section, but the sensuality between them was sorely lacking, and for me that prevented the program from rising to the next level.

The first exciting moment of my night occurred next: Maia Shibutani & Alex Shibutani!

This may be petty, but until this moment I had never seen even a hair out of place from Maia.

As usual they were adorable, elegant, and polished. I still want Maia's dress--actually, I want her whole wardrobe, both on and off the ice. Their opening dance spin was very fast with good positions, setting the tone for the next four minutes. Their curved lift into a rotational lift was also hit and fast, and the twizzles? Amazing, as usual. Must be the Japanese work ethic kicking in somewhere.

All teams are under the 6-second lift rule, but no one said anything about this lift feeling rushed à la the Russians because Maia's extension allows her to hit positions instantly and exaggerate them, so the audience is actually left with a mental image.

The music for their performance was soft as well, but unlike the previous team the Shibutanis almost didn't need it. I'm not trying to be hyperbolic, and they are far from perfect, of course, but they have a great presence on the ice. They received the highest TES of the night, which really bodes well for their career and shows that they simply need time to mature and not be each other's siblings anymore. Unfortunately for them the latter is impossible, so now they need to take care that they don't go the way of Sinead Kerr & John Kerr.

Snake sighting. And some classic Alex, pre-SB scores.

Kaitlyn Weaver looked uncannily like Nicole Kidman, although I never would have guessed it during their Short Dance. Kaitlyn & Andrew's Moulin Rouge music selections weren't my favorite (I do love Come What May but Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend and the tango weren't quite necessary), but they had good energy and speed throughout, and had some very interesting lifts. The judges apparently weren't fooled, though, and cut them down technically.










I'm not sure why Vanessa Crone & Paul Poirier chose the costumes they did, or why Vanessa styles herself so she looks nearly 30 instead of 20, but their program got the job done. Eleanor Rigby as a piece is pretty boring so it was easy to stop paying attention, but they had good speed in both their spins and footwork, and some cool lifts such as these:

Summersett-Gilles, 2.0?

Paul went down on a freak fall while they were essentially just skating around the rink, though fortunately for them it had no affect on their planned elements. I wasn't totally sold on their program, but it was enough to put them ahead of my favorite siblings.

The final couple, of course, was Meryl Davis & Charlie White. Although I disapproved when Charlie switched to a black costume with gold trim for their Bollywood original dance last year very late in the season, I would be quite okay with him wearing this all-black outfit forever.

The thing about Meryl and Charlie is that although I often talk about them needing to get together, I never actually believe it at much as I do about Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir. There is clearly chemistry between them, but it doesn't seem as desperately romantic and latent as the Canadians'. I can actually buy it when they say that they are only friends, which is a problem.

Their twizzles this time around were fine, although they weren't quite perfectly together. I did love, though, that they used a portion from Por una Cabeza, as it brought me back to some of Mao Asada's more glorious days. And then, in the middle of this musical glory, both Meryl and Charlie fell while trying to hit some dramatic tango position. Ridiculous.


In the replay it looked like it was Charlie who lost his balance again and brought Meryl down with him, and she didn't seem too pleased in the Kiss & Cry while Charlie looked seriously cartoonlike.

Snake sighting behind Meryl.

The judges took a year and a half to announce their scores, which meant that they were trying to find every possible way to let them win by a landslide, and indeed the judges essentially pretended that the fall had never happened aside from the mandatory -2.00 deduction (plus another for an extended lift). This more than generous score was more than enough to put them on top and bring the smile back to Meryl's face.

Skate America 2010: He Who Falls Least?

Okay, I tried to give everyone an equal chance by watching the entirety of the Short Program. The Free Skate is a much longer time commitment, though, so I needed to make an executive decision, especially on a Monday night. The only performance I could be missing out on seems to be Kevin van der Perren's, and we all know how I feel about him.

So, I began with Denis Ten, who wore a pretty black-and-white costume with rhinestone accents. This is probably a bad thing because I described it as "pretty," and indeed with a few tweaks it could have turned into a ladies costume (or a Johnny Weir suit). But whatever, his costume was the least of his problems. Denis fell spectacularly on his first two jumps, both of which were triple Axels, then stepped out and touched his hand down on the triple toe of his triple Lutz + triple toe combination. 0 for 3 jumping passes turned into 0 for 4 when he took a hard fall on his triple flip following a mediocre step sequence, and then finally--finally!--he pulled off a clean triple loop. Then came both hands down on a triple Lutz, a fought-for triple Salchow, and a fifth fall on a double Axel. This was, as Rafael Nadal might say, "an amazing disaster." Wow. Poor kid--an eleventh-place 111.61.

Is Frank Carroll smiling? Absurd!

D-Daisuke was next (I can also call him B-Murakami, but D-Daisuke has a better ring), looking like he'd raided the ribbon section of a Christmas store for that one last accessory. The first thing that was noticeable about his performance was his speed. He came racing out the moment the music came on, and nailed a triple Lutz + triple toe combination (he did get an e call on his Lutz, though--do any Japanese skaters actually know how to do a Lutz? I was pretty sure both Daisuke Takahashi and Nobunari Oda could do them, but they also got edge calls here too. Maybe the Technical Caller was just being mean to balance out whichever clown was calling Skate Canada.). D-Daisuke's triple Axel + double toe combination was smooth, as was his triple flip. His spins could be faster and his steps more exciting, but he did at least maintain his speed throughout the program. D-Daisuke added a triple Axel and a triple Salchow, but then put both hands down on a triple loop, which was sad since it doesn't look like he has any conditioning issues. He did keep his head on well enough to finish off with a triple toe and a double Axel, as well as a step sequence and two steps. D-Daisuke looked incredibly pleased, which is always cute to see.

135.99!

The commentator (Tonia Kwiatkowski) could not deal with the fact that D-Daisuke used to skate for the United States and now represents Japan. She went out of her way to mention that he was a two-time recipient of the Michael Weiss Foundation award, which was "specifically created" to help the development of "American skaters." Hah.

Also, I'm not sure why the triple loop was judged as a fall, since neither of D-Daisuke's knees touched the ice. Is the rule both hands, and I'm just mis-remembering it?

Armin Mahbanoozadeh skated to music from Avatar, but was thankfully tasteful enough not to paint his face blue or to even go for an annoying eye-catching hue. (The music also turned out to be quite good). He replaced a planned quad with a triple toe, but it was a good jump, and he followed this with a great triple Axel. Armin then did a triple Lutz + double toe combination with one arm up on the toe loop (Adam Rippon jealousy?). I'm not sure I would call his triple Axel + double toe combination "excellent" à la Tonia Kwiatkowski, but clean it was. So was his triple flip out of a spread eagle, and his following combination spin was nice and fast. I wasn't completely enthralled by the program, but you can tell that all of the parts are there--he just needs to go for it more. After a nice triple Salchow came a popped triple Lutz, but Armin had the presence of mind to still tack on a double toe and double loop at the end of it. He didn't let this bother him, though, and finished off with another fast combination spin.

A tasteful character costume. Plus an amazing smile.

Priscilla Hill switches scarves to match her students' costumes...?

Adam Rippon, who the commentators all but said was guaranteed a medal here after the Short Program, came out and delivered one of the worst performances I've seen from him in a long, long time, if not ever. A planned opening triple Axel turned into a popped single Axel with a half-hearted single toe loop tacked on, and although he managed to pull off a double Axel as well as his trademark two-armed triple Lutz afterwards, the program never came alive. For some reason the ever-talking Kwiatkowski commended Adam's second triple Axel attempt with a "good for him," even though it ended with a hand down (it's not like he could start modifying things at this stage anyway, unless he wants to be the next Nobunari Oda and screw himself over). He then did a triple flip + triple toe loop combination, quickly followed by a Besti squat-type position into a one-armed triple Lutz + single toe loop + double loop combination. Bizarre. Adam's problems continued with a fall on a triple loop (which I now see was actually called as a double loop, so a double whammy there), although he managed a triple Salchow. Somehow he put on a smile interspersed with some serious and disappointed looks.

"Oh my god, I don't know what happened," Adam said to Brian Orser in disbelief. His seventh-place 129.18 put him in second behind Armin.

The best part of his skate? Some fan screaming "Love you, Brian!" You can bet it wasn't a Korean.

I would say something about A-Daisuke's costume, but I think I've seen so many of them that it doesn't even register. Pinkish frills down the front of his shirt? No problem. His triple toe had more a problem, as he stepped out of it, but he came back to hit a forward-leaning triple Axel and a smooth triple loop.

No A-Daisuke program would be complete without at least an "I'm amazing" moment, and this came with every head snap in his circular step sequence. Classic. Kwiatkowski was merciful and American enough to call it "personality."

The circular step sequence, though, was amazing. Next came a forward-landed triple flip + double toe combination, a fall on a triple Axel (cue collective Japanese gasp), an "unusual" flying layback spin, and an edge-called triple Lutz. With his great conditioning, A-Daisuke is not one to shy away from back-loading his programs, and after the Lutz he landed a triple Salchow and a triple Lutz + double toe combination with a poor flow out. A straight-line step sequence and a combination spin later, A-Daisuke was finally freed from this uncomfortable-looking performance. It seems to be too early in the season for him to be really comfortable with it yet, and he shook his head with dissatisfaction at the end.

俺、カッコイイだろ？

I can't even bring myself to talk about Nobunari Oda. I've lost count of how many times he's had victory in his hands, only to throw it all away by poor judgment in the heat of the moment. How many times can he possibly do invalid jump combinations and repeat the same jumps? His ancestor from seventeen generations ago needs to fight his way out of his grave and cut Nobunari down until he gets the point. A lost national title, 2006 Olympics berth, and potential World medal haven't been enough? And he's supposed to raise a son. Sheesh. I want to shake him.

Skate America 2010: The Not-Quite-Japanese

Like the Ladies' Short Program, the first half of the Short Dance was also eliminated from my day. Good thing, too, because I was far from impressed by the first team that I did bother to watch, Cathy Reed & Chris Reed.

Before the warmup was this scene, featuring some of my favorites:

AS: Say, 'Hi Mom!'
MD: Hi Mom!
*cue fist-pumping and roof-raising*

So my night with the actual Short Dance began with this:

Just no.

I'd missed the part where the commentators explained that they were skating to Addams Family music, which itself sounded better than I expected, but simply trying to be in character does not excuse any form of ridiculousness or sheer ugliness. On top of that their dance had a messy feel overall, which wasn't helped by all the strands coming out of Cathy's dress and her very long hair. I decided to not pay too much attention and wait patiently for the next brother-sister, not-quite-Japanese team. 44.40, which was an ultimate 8th place. They didn't actually think that competing for the US was what was holding them back, right?

In between I started to notice just how scary Melissa Gregory's voice is.

The biggest difference between the Reeds and Maia Shibutani & Alex Shibutani is that I LOVE the Shibutanis. This may sound mean, but being able to watch these two teams back-to-back really emphasized how much better the Shibutanis are. Their twizzles? BAM. So fast, so tight, so together. These two may be innocently sweet-faced, but they know how to focus and compete.

Classic Zoueva & Shpilband.

56.46 seemed decent enough (a personal best!), especially since Maia had a slight slip during their circular sequence.

What goes through Alex's mind at times like this?

Kaitlyn Weaver & Andrew Poje were next. Despite being scary, Melissa Gregory does earn points for all but telling it like it is: they're attractive so they'll score well. Both were indeed true. There was nothing overwhelmingly impressive about them (their twizzles seemed slow after the Shibutanis), although they were incredibly elegant. And compared to the Shibutanis, their maturity really carried them through their performance. But overall, it seems like they stayed clean and did what needed to be done while having fun doing it, and it resulted in a 59.48 for a very temporary first place.

Vanessa Crone & Paul Poirier were slightly less pretty (look at the back of her dress! Did they run out of material because they covered up her whole front?), but they started out with a pretty cool upside-down lift although I sort of lost interest after that. They placed above their compatriots with a 60.41, but interestingly beat them on PCS and lost the TES by a point and a half.


And then finally, finally was the team that I can't seem to get enough of: Meryl Davis & Charlie White. He was wearing an ascot--an ascot!--and looking fantastic. You know that's the true test for hotness--put them in something somewhat strange and very outdated, and see what happens. Same with Scott Moir and his coattails.

Lovely. Every figure skating fan would do anything to be one of them right at this moment.

Meryl was wearing a different dress (pink) than she was wearing at NHK Trophy (red), and although I understand that they were going for a complete image overhaul after being criticized by judges, I have to say I really prefer the red. This long-sleeved pink thing kind of screams Disney princess (and like, a cheap replication of a Disney princess dress at that), which doesn't fit Meryl's ethereal beauty at all.


Things were going okay until Charlie tripped during their twizzle sequence, bringing me back several seasons when this seemed like a chronic problem. He seemed to have gotten over it in the past two or so years, so I'm not sure why it's back and, more broadly, why the problem exists at all. It's not like he doesn't focus, and it's not like he doesn't know how to skate--does he get overeager? Is he too excitable? Or does he actually not like twizzling in a certain direction? No matter, though, since even with only the fourth-highest TES of the night, their PCS blew everyone else's out of the water. Ordinarily I would be indignant about situations like this, but artistically they left a much larger impression than any of the other teams. And no one can argue with their artistry. 63.62.

Skate America 2010: Painfully Mediocre

The Grand Prix events are so packed that sometimes sacrifices need to be made. In this case, it was the first half of the Ladies' Short Program (and likely Free Skate, if the quality of the scores so far is any indication), and so I unceremoniously cut Mae Berenice Meite, Alexe Gilles, Min-Jeong Kwak, Viktoria Helgesson, Amelie Lacoste, Jenna McCorkell, and even Joshi Helgesson (sisters?) from my day. You know it's time to move on when your greatest skating claim to fame is being married to Kevin van der Perren.

And so this segment for me began with Kanako Murakami, who fits the definition of "total sweetheart." On one hand I was a little dismayed by her dress, but on the other it seems to go with her age and personality quite well. And damn, she has speed. Her triple toe + triple toe combination covered an insane amount of ground, but sadly she was only able to pull of a single Axel.

In a nutshell.

Plus, Machiko Yamada is so crazy and fabulous, even the Kiss & Cry is exciting. I think her 54.75 could have been a little higher, though. Oh well.

From one Asian to another: next was Caroline Zhang. She is such a tragic mess I wasn't sure what to expect, but her jumps do seem to have improved a bit from the past. I saw none of the famous mule-kick (although she may just have left those jumps out of this program), unless you count her wild free leg on her solo triple jump. What is really curious to me is how Caroline seems to come to a dead stop before muscling out her double Axel. She's also improved her speed, which is very refreshing to see. 50.66, good enough, right?

So when did Elene Gedevanishvili go blonde? And why does she keep switching coaches instead of retiring? She fell on her opening triple Lutz and doubled her Salchow, I believe, but she somehow made herself get through the program. Perhaps her 45.27 will finally start waking her up to the state of her skating.

I really, really try not to be catty about actual appearances (costuming choices don't count because they're actually in a person's control), but when it comes to Rachael Flatt, I cannot help myself. Her haircut makes her look fatter than ever, and the all-teal one-shoulder dress does not help her at all. Her opening combination was a little bit weird (a double flip + triple toe), and she tried a little bit to hard with her choreography (including some strange, "jazzy" hip wiggles and hand flips). The commentator mentioned that Rachael has been taking dance lessons lately, which comes about 10 years too late. 51.02, behind Joshi Helgesson--please go to Stanford.

The final skater--Grand Prix competitions are mercifully short--was Carolina Kostner, who is another "Are you still around?" type of skater. Her planed triple-triple turned into a triple toe + double toe, but technically the rest of her program seemed more or less okay. In terms of performance quality alone I would put Kanako ahead of her, but the judges quite dramatically disagreed. 60.28? Please. The commentator says that it's because Carolina "did everything else," but unless by "everything else" she means "being from Italy," then I'm not buying it.

Skate America 2010: The Dishwashing Edition

Okay, the title has nothing to do with the skating and everything to do with my attempt to keep my apartment clean as I keep up with my fandom. As you may have noticed, I don't do anything halfway--I boycotted the Grand Prix pretty dramatically, and now I'm back in the Grand Prix pretty dramatically. Such is my personality, I suppose.

The best part of the broadcast, at first, was the technical glitch that made it near-impossible to hear the commentators. I therefore got to watch Felicia Zhang & Taylor Toth in blissful peace, which was perfect because they were skating to Clair de Lune. Their performance had their ups and downs--Felicia crashed into Taylor on their opening split triple twist, but this was followed by rock-solid side-by-side triple toes. Their singles background really shows, although now I'd love for them to skate more closely together.

And then, just as I was marveling at their unison on their side-by-side spins...


...they completely fell out of it. Sigh. They seemed okay with their 48.13, though. It's their first senior Grand Prix ever, after all!

I'd never heard of Canada's Kirsten Moore-Towers & Dylan Moscovitch before watching this (I was ignoring Skate Canada, remember?), and after watching their skate I can't say I'm all that eager to hear from them again. They seem solid enough, and were rewarded quite nicely by a second-place 61.64, but when my dishes are more interesting than their performance, there's a problem.

Next was Ksenia Stolbova & Fedor Klimov, whom I'd also never heard of but actually paid attention to. Their costume choices were a little suspect, particularly for Ksenia, but she is seriously pretty. They may be a little rough around the edges, but they have a performance quality that grabbed my attention. Their throw triple covered a lot of ground although Ksenia did have to fight a bit for the landing. They're young (18 and 20), so hopefully they'll follow up on their potential, because I am intrigued. Sadly, though, they only received 53.73. I wasn't watching all that closely, but I was expecting a little bit more.

Black mesh? What?

The first group ended with Marissa Castelli & Simon Shnapir, whose all-black costumes totally upped their sex appeal. Their performance had issues, however, with Simon falling on their side-by-side triple jumps and Marissa falling on their throw triple. They also had some strange choreography going on, such as this:

Seriously, figure skating right now is all about shamelessly scrambling for points, and they glide on two feet for ten seconds?

Yet even with two falls, with 47.24 they are less than a point behind Felicia & Taylor.

There's something kind of cute about Stacey Kemp & David King, but not so much that the judges could overlook their messy split triple twist, low side-by-side double (double!) flips, and overall slowness. A flat 42.00 put them in last place by over five points.

Next came a potential heir to the Chinese pairs dynasty (although, if you really start thinking about it, it's really just Xue Shen & Hongbo Zhao, with a few pretenders taking advantage of the coattail effect and some wonky ISU rules, but whatever, their pairs are legit), Wenjing Sui & Cong Han. The first thing I noticed was their costumes. Dear GOD.

She also needs to choose a color other than white for the underwear area.

They had good speed, which was carried by the tempo of the country music, and in true Chinese fashion their split triple twist and throw triple flip were huge. The synchronization on their spins drifted off halfway through, and the entry into their lift looked a little labored, but there's no denying that the world's most populous country has chosen these two to be its next champions. They also seem to have the advantage of growing up in an already-established Chinese pairs system, meaning that they have a lot more character and artistry than the older pairs did when they first started. 57.53, still behind the forgettable Canadians.

Oh hey, look! Masters of bad coaching decisions, Caydee Denney & Jeremy Barrett! They don't seem to have actually suffered as a result of this decision, but I'm not convinced that they'll actually grow. Despite slightly more elegant costuming Caydee does not seem to have lost any of her strange Courtney Love-ness. Nevertheless, they had great unison on their spins and generally good energy throughout. 58.49, though, does a disservice to their maturity compared to the Chinese team.

This time, the best was saved for last: Aliona Savchenko & Robin Szolkowy. I would ordinarily suggest that they retire, but I guess they have unfinished business. I do wonder if this business included trying to be as poorly attired as possible:


Their opening throw triple flip was almost too big for her to handle--she was also leaning in the air--but she managed to pull it off. She was also leaning on their side-by-side triple toes, which were placed a little too far apart for two-time World Champions, but again she fought enough to keep it clean. They did, however, have a lot of unison problems on their side-by-side spins. Overall, this wasn't a great performance, but they did enough to stay on top of a mediocre Grand Prix field. 63.99 gives them a two-point lead, which they should definitely be able to build on with a problem.