2011 Australian Open: Days 1-4

I want to watch the Australian Open! It seems like there are some amazing things going on and I am missing them all!

• It looks like Rafael Nadal is putting on freaking clinics every time he steps onto the court. His matches might not be the most exciting, but who cares?
• I almost died last night when Kei Nishikori lost the third set 6-0. He seems to have a speech impediment (irrelevant, I know), but he's fun to follow. All aboard the Japanese Singular Mindset Bandwagon!
• Apparently, Todd Woodbridge sent the following text to Rennae Stubbs:
  

  "Is Kim Clijsters pregnant? She looks grumpy and her boobs are bigger."
  
  

• Oh, Dinara Safina...
• Jelena Jankovic, your ship has sailed.
• Jamie Murray is married now? Damn, Jankovic's ships are all sailing away.